Put yourself first

Since time immemorial I have been taught to keep other people's feelings first, be empathetic, be caring and above all help everyone.

Now, this is a good thing to teach kids. A value of kindness goes a long way. Humanity should be the first lesson taught and one must be humble and considerate.

The thought per se is beautiful and it creates a peaceful environment around us. The problem lies when we are not told the line or the threshold to stop.

• We are taught to be caring and understanding but never taught how much care is healthy for you. We must be made aware of the difference between help and being used.
• We are taught to be empathetic, but when do we have a conversation that says that you should not over involve yourself. An extreme emotional investment makes us weak decision-makers and also affects our mental health.
• We are taught to be humble and kind, but where is the talk about standing up for ourselves. In this cutthroat environment, one must be equipped to be stern when required or else they may be not treated as they deserve.
• We are taught to be soft-spoken and adjusting but never equipped to voice our concerns and pain. While conforming is good but compromising self-respect for the sake of adjustment is wrong.
• We are taught to respect elders, listen to them and to agree upon all the things they say. We are never taught to question them or be vocal if they make us uncomfortable or just to speak up against them.  While elders may have experience; they also are humans with a tendency to fail. Let us accept that elders can be wrong too.
• We are taught to be available in times of need; but where is the talk about prioritizing our lives first.  Helping others is good, but doing it with keeping your life at stake is a decision worth pondering over at least once.
• We are taught to always say Yes; without telling us the value of No. It is good to agree, but one must be taught that it is not wrong to disagree too.

                                          

With the growing cases of depression, insecurities, abuses, domestic violence, child molestation, suicides, etc.; it is high time everyone is taught that we are humans. We need to learn how to protect ourselves, how to care about ourselves and to prioritize ourselves.

•  It is good to be a wonderful person but it is better to be a person with self-respect. Our decision should not be solely made on 'What people think' and should be based on our preferences, liking, and happiness.
• We as a society must become more open to listening, allowing everyone to speak up.
• We as a person should give freedom to everyone to show emotions; ask questions; speak their fears loudly without being looked down upon or being taunted.
• We need to create a value system that teaches you to empathize, respect and be humble with an ability to judge where to; Put ourselves first.

It is not selfish to think about your wellbeing and your mental health before being a Samaritan; the difference lies between judging right and wrong.

Always remember when you respect and love yourself; then only you get the same from others. So be a giver in life, but be aware when it is making you hollow.

 “Don’t wait for a crisis to realize what matters most. Put yourself first right now. Because right now is all we have.”

– Brittany Burgunder